Woman's Guide to 50 Shades of Canadian Men, The

Hey, Ladies! Look no further for your perfect Canadian man! Find the big, brawny types and the smooth sensitive types right here with their habitat, favourite places and food:The WinterpeggerOn a cold January morning at the corner of Portage and Main stands the urban wild man—the Winterpegger—bracing himself against the violent gusts of near hurricane-force winds that blow between the city’s buildings; the Winterpegger is ready for whatever may come his way.The Polite Canadian“Hey there, friend. You’re looking good today. Let me get the door for you.” Familiar words said by the most polite Canadian in the country—he never hesitates to give directions to a lost tourist, and on occasion the Polite Canadian has been known to take random visitors on a tour of his city.Le SéparatisteDeep in the heart of Québec lives a man with a mission he has been planning since the 1970s, consuming his every waking moment and fighting for “the cause” until his last breath—he wants 51 percent Québec’s population to believe the province should be an independent country, leaving the English federalist monarchists to their own devices.The Senior LeaguerSomewhere down at the local hockey rink anywhere in the country, a bunch of bald / grey-haired men sit in a humid, smelly dressing rooms, putting on tattered equipment and holding on to a small sliver of their youth by knocking around each other’s creaky old bones in a game of senior hockey. The BC LumberjackUp in the northern wilds of British Columbia is a manly man’s man who works all day dwarfed by the giant trees of the coastal rainforest making swift work of the colossal timbers with his trusty axe and saw, a thankless job that must be done so that Canadians have a newspaper to read in the morning.The Toronto SuitHigh in the ivory towers of Bay Street in downtown Toronto, the Toronto Suit gets up from his leather executive chair, walks to the floor-to-ceiling window, unbuttons his Armani suit and looks down upon the world before him; he lives for meetings, deals and the art of the negotiation—a symbol of Canadian free enterprise.